Jubilee
by Squadron Leader
Summary: The final Melissa Davidson story. Complete. Please review!
1. Waiting

Jubilee ****

Jubilee

The sun had just risen but already it was hot enough to fry an egg outside, without a stove. Melissa bounced out of her bunk to start the new day. The others followed with a little more difficulty. When the nights grew short during the summer, even Carter had trouble getting enough sleep. Of course that could be because of Carter's age. The chemist was only 25, but Melissa was still five years his junior.

"Coffee, _please_, LeBeau." Newkirk was desperate. LeBeau carefully poured him some of the hot liquid. Newkirk took a grateful slurp. "Tell me your secret. 'ow do you 'ave so much ruddy energy?"

"She's a pixie, that's the only plausible explanation." Hogan was more awake now that he too had had a cup of coffee. "Kinch, check to see if she has pointed ears." Melissa ran out the door into the bright sunlight. The others followed more sedately.

"Do you think all Canadians are pixies mon colonel?" The other Canadian prisoners were as keyed up as Melissa was. The five stood in a group talking animatedly.

Hogan shook head slowly. "I don't know." The small group had more energy per person than the rest of the camp did as a whole. No one could think of a logical explanation for their excitement. When Shultz appeared with his clipboard the group broke up to stand in formation. When roll call ended everyone went back to their barracks; Melissa was still bouncing.

"Do you still want me to check her ears?" Kinch couldn't ever remember being that hyper. Hogan looked as though he were seriously considering it.

"Do you know that I've never clearly seen 'er ears? 'er hair always covers the tops." Newkirk looked at her quizzically. By now all of the men were looking at her ears. She looked around and not one face wore a friendly smile. She raised her hands quickly to her ears. LeBeau started to advance but Melissa was only steps away from the door and she fled to the relative safety of the outdoors.

"Do ya wanna play socca? We're shorta playa." An Australian corporal approached her. She nodded and went to join the rough and tumble game. Concentrating fully on the game she forgot about her ears, almost. Winning the game raised her spirits even further. Before returning to the barracks she borrowed a hat from one of the other prisoners, and pulling it down firmly over her ears, stepped through the door. For a moment there was no sound, and no movement. She shut the door.

"_Now!_" LeBeau, Carter, Newkirk, Kinch, and Hogan all jumped her. In an instant she was down on the floor. She threw her arms up over her head and gave the men their opening. Newkirk's nimble fingers began to move furiously up and down her ribs, tickling as they went.

"No! _Stop!_ Newkirk, that's an order!"

"And I outrank you!" Hogan laughed. With her arms up over her head she was an easy target for the attack. Gasping for air she tried to twist away but rolled into Hogan's lap. He joined in the fray. Surrounded on all sides, with aching sides, but not yet ready to surrender she tried to contract into a ball. Carter had a firm hold on her feet and was taking off her shoes.

"Will you show us your ears yet?" Newkirk redoubled his efforts. By this time she was beyond speech and concentrating only on keeping her arms above her head and breathing. When she didn't respond Hogan nodded to Carter who began to feverishly tickle her feet. After another few seconds she had had too much and reluctantly lowered her arms. The moment she did so the tickling stopped. Hogan reached up and pulled the cap off of her head. Newkirk and Carter pulled her hair back. All the men collapsed with laughter on the floor.

"What is this?" Shultz had heard the shrieking peals of laughter and decided to investigate. Hogan and Kinch dismissed the guard with a wave. Carter was facedown on the floor his entire body shaking. LeBeau was pounding the post to one of the bunks with his fist.

"Look at 'er ears." Newkirk managed to gasp it out. Shultz pulled back her hair.

"So?"

"They come to a point! She's a bloody _pixie!_" Newkirk dissolved into laughter again. Shultz shook his head. Sometimes the prisoners reminded him of his own small children; they were amused by the smallest things.

Melissa could only imagine her new nicknames. Her brothers called her an elf and a sprite. Her ears didn't come exactly to a point, but it was close enough that someone with that idea in mind all ready could easily pick up on it. 

"Colonel Hogan, would you mind explaining this!" Klink stormed in to find Kinch, Newkirk, LeBeau, Hogan, and Carter still sprawled out helpless on the floor. Hogan wiped tears from his eyes, took a deep breath, and began to laugh again. Even Newkirk was beyond speech this time.

"It's nothing colonel. Earlier this morning Colonel Hogan came to the conclusion that I must be a pixie because I'm so energetic. He told Kinch to check my ears to see if they're pointed. They saw my ears."

"And exactly what is so funny?" Melissa pulled back her hair. Klink let out a laugh before he could stop himself. He pivoted crisply on his heel and quickly walked out the door. When the others were capable of sitting and talking normally Klink came back in.

"What did you want kommandant?" Hogan's face was still red. 

"My staff car needs to be washed. A group of your men will do it. Don't try to trick Shultz into doing it with that 'A clean car is a happy car' bit." Hogan nodded. "And Hogan, do it in under four hours this time." Klink stalked out of the room.

"Who's going to volunteer today? Carter, LeBeau, and Newkirk thanks for your enthusiasm. Oh, and Pixie I wouldn't try to stop you from supervising."

"So much for democracy." LeBeau picked himself up off the floor.

"I'll help too." Kinch offered his hand to Newkirk.

Back out in the bright sunshine the group soon forgot their gripes as they scrubbed Klink's car. Everything was peaceful and in no time they were almost done.

"Newkirk, could you fill this pail with clean water please." Melissa was ready to start rinsing off the windows.

"Of course m'lady." Just as Newkirk called Hogan guv'nor he called Melissa m'lady.

Newkirk stepped over Carter's legs. Carter, besides laying down on the job, was tightening a loose bolt in the door hinge. As Newkirk was on his way back with the full bucket of water he forgot about Carter's legs and tripped. The entire bucket of water was flung into LeBeau's face. "Sorry Louis."

"I'll so you sorry you, you, you--!" LeBeau couldn't think of a proper insult and picked up the sponge floating in his bucket and threw it at Newkirk. It missed and stuck Kinch square between the shoulder blades. Kinch whirled around and fired his sponge back at LeBeau. Soon it had escalated into a full-fledged water fight. Sponges were flying back and forth across the motor pool. The car, instead of being nearly done, was covered in soapsuds. Kinch, who had taken refuge behind the car, leaned over the hood to fire a sponge at Melissa. She threw one back at him.

"_Hey!_" Hogan was now in possession of one very wet uniform cap. "Who threw that?" Melissa stood.

"I did, but I was aiming at Kinch." Kinch waved from behind the car. Hogan glanced at the distance between them.

"I think you need to work on your aim. I'll give you a few pointers later. Well, come on, what are you standing around for? Let's get this car washed." Hogan pitched in and the car was soon shining again. Klink came just as LeBeau was giving a final polish to the headlights.

"It's a miracle! My car is done and it's only been two hours." Then he saw Kinch's soaking clothes. "Looks like my car wasn't the only thing that got washed sergeant." Klink laughed at his own joke.

As the group was walking back to the barracks Melissa shook her head. Water flew from her wet curls and into the faces of those around her.

"Thanks for the shower." Then Hogan had a question. "What's the real reason you're so happy?"

"She's always 'appy guv'nor."

"Fine, why are you especially happy today?"

"It's Dominion Day."

"What?"

"Canada Day. I suppose it's the equivalent to your Independence Day, only three days earlier and a lot more peacefully." Hogan let that comment slide. He knew if he commented on it, the fight would have Melissa and Newkirk on one side and everyone else on the other. And while Melissa and Newkirk might be outnumbered, Hogan knew they wouldn't be quick to give in.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Melissa was still hyper at roll call but she had calmed down some. After roll call she had a suggestion.

"Let's go swimming!"

"What?" The others looked at her strangely.

"Let's go swimming. Remember that pool we found out in the woods? It should be perfect!"

"It would be nice to cool off." Newkirk fanned himself with his poker hand.

"Well mon colonel, can we go?" LeBeau sounded as eager as Newkirk.

"Well." Hogan dragged the word out.

"Come on colonel, what's wrong with 'aving a bit o'fun?"

"The Geneva Convention says we can celebrate national holidays! Even you can't argue with the Geneva Convention. Oh, boy, uh sir, if they found out that one of their own men wasn't following the Geneva Convention, oh boy, sorry sir."

"We can go on one condition. LeBeau?" Hogan ignored Carter's rambling.

"What mon colonel?"

"You have to bring along some of your apple strudel. Swimming makes me hungry!" Everyone headed off to get ready. Melissa began going through her stuff looking for something to wear. LeBeau began preparing a plate of strudel. Hogan began rounding up towels. Newkirk picked up the poker mess. Carter was trying to open his footlocker. Kinch remained seated at the table.

"Aren't you going Kinch?" Carter was having trouble with the lock.

"I don't really like swimming very much. Andrew, if you hit that with your fist right above the lock it'll open right up."

"Thanks." As Carter started rummaging through the mess in the bottom of it Melissa popped her head through the door.

"Andrew, can I borrow a T-shirt please."

"Sure." He pulled out a crumpled, but clean, shirt. By the time Melissa was ready to go the others were waiting impatiently.

"'urry up. Let's go!" Newkirk looked like he was ready to leave without her. Finally the entire group was ready to leave. The walk only took ten minutes so they were at the stream-fed pool just before ten. Melissa waded out to check the depth and found the water over her head three-quarters of the way out. She treaded water and called out to the others.

"It's deep out near the centre. Come on in, the water's nice and cool." As if on cue, bodies came flying out of the darkness. Melissa didn't have time to think before someone grabbed her legs and pulled her under. She surfaced at the same time as a grinning Newkirk.

"Got you Pixie!" Newkirk laughed. Melissa splashed him. For the second time that day there was a water-fight going and this time Melissa didn't have to worry about her aim. LeBeau and Melissa were at a decided disadvantage because the others could stand and still have their heads remain above the water. The water was too deep for the shorter two to reach. Because of this the two wound up getting the worst of it and emerged looking like a pair of drowned rats.

As they all sat munching on apple strudel Hogan glanced at his watch. "It's almost 11:30, we should head back." Before leaving each person took a careful look around the clearing to make sure nothing had been left behind. Walking back to camp took even less time than walking to the pool had taken.

"Where have you been?" Kinch worriedly greeted them.

"We were careful Mom."

"And didn't talk to any strangers." Newkirk and LeBeau tossed out the flippant remarks on their way up the ladder.

"Colonel, I got a message from London over an hour ago!"

"Hold your horses Kinch, what did the message say?"

"They're sending a plane to come and pick you up."

"Did they say what time tomorrow night?"

"Not tomorrow night. Tonight." Kinch paused. "It will be there in under half an hour."

"Melissa, until I get back you're in charge. If I'm not back in time for roll call make up a story." Hogan started for the ladder.

"Colonel, they want her to come too." Melissa and Hogan both sprinted to their respective quarters. They had to change into dress uniforms and make it out to the field before the plane arrived. Time would be tight.

As the two hurried through the woods for the second time that night Hogan gave Melissa a quick briefing. "The plane will come and land in the field. When it does we hurry and board so no one sees us. Then we'll be flown to a base near London and driven to the meeting. After the meeting we'll do the same thing, only in reverse." Hogan paused and impatiently waited for Melissa to catch up. "You must have security clearance or you wouldn't be coming. Can't you walk any faster?"

"Have you ever tried jogging through a forest wearing heels and a skirt? Unless you want me to hike my skirt up and go barefoot and ruin my stockings this is as fast as I can go." Hogan grunted. When she came alongside him he picked her up.

"Now hang on and don't move." Hogan took off through the forest again. They were almost at the clearing when they heard the plane. Hogan set Melissa down on the clear ground and the two took off at a dead run, or as close to a dead run as Melissa could get. They made it just as the plane was coming to a stop. Hogan helped Melissa into the plane before climbing in himself. Hogan leaned forward to tap the pilot's shoulder signalling they were ready to take off. The plane took off just clearing the tops of the trees.

There was very little conversation during the flight and even less on the road into London. Hogan, who had learned from experience, was taking a nap. When they reached the building where the meeting was to be held Hogan awoke to find Melissa nervously fixing her hair. She placed her cap on top of her wild curls and turned to him. "Have a good sleep?" 

He nodded. "Let's go." Hogan confidently walked through the main doors and Melissa trailed him nervously, her shoes tapping on the tiled floor. "Your heels aren't even that high!"

"You give it a try some time."

"Colonel Robert Hogan?" An American sergeant approached them. Hogan nodded and the sergeant saluted. "And Squadron Leader Melissa Davidson?" Melissa nodded and the sergeant saluted again. "Follow me please." The sergeant led them down a series of dimly light hallways. Finally he stopped and stood rigidly at attention. Hogan saluted. 

"Thank you sergeant." She smiled warmly.

He returned. "You're welcome miss. RCAF, right?" She nodded. "You're always the ones who thank us." He saluted, smile still on his face. She saluted back and the man left. As Hogan looked at her incredulous the door opened.

"Hogan, so glad you could join us. Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Colonel Robert Hogan. As you know he runs the unit operating out of Stalag 13." The two men shook hands. Over Hogan's shoulder the American general caught sight of Melissa. "And who is this young lady? I'd place my bets that she's Canadian. She thanked the sergeant." The general stepped aside allowing the two to enter.

"That would be Squadron Leader Melissa Davidson. And you're right she is Canadian." An elderly English general stood to greet her. He held out his hand so Melissa offered her as well. Instead of shaking it, as she expected, the general raised it to his lips. Melissa broke out in a wide grin. "Please, come in, have a seat. I'm General Jeffrey Walters."

"It's a pleasure to meet you general." He led her to a chair and pulled it out for her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And it's a pleasure to meet you as well. I served with some brave Canadians during the last war. None of them really followed the procedure for addressing senior officers though. Just like you now. They always thanked anyone who had helped them out, even if it was their job to do it." The general probably would have gone on but they heard the door opening, and someone thanking someone else. "That would be Harry. He's Canadian too."

"Now that we're all here we might as well introduce ourselves." A voice that could have come off of the BBC spoke from the end of the table. "I'm Air Commodore Charles Brayton, RAF."

"Admiral Edson, RN."

"General George Anslow." The American general was seated next to Hogan.

"Brigadier Frances Duchept, Free French."

"Lieutenant-General Harry Crerar, Canadian Army." Crerar bowed slightly to Melissa before sitting down. "May I ask your names?" He gestured to Melissa and Hogan.

"Colonel Robert Hogan operates the unit out of Stalag 13 and Squadron Leader Melissa Davidson." Anslow offered the information.

"The squadron leader works with Colonel Hogan and is one of the highest ranking captured Canadian officers." Edson added more information. Glancing around the room Melissa found that not only was she the only female, she was also the youngest by about ten years, and the lowest ranked.

"Colonel Hogan, you and Squadron Leader Davidson are the only ones who don't know what this meeting is about." Walters stood to begin the meeting. "Operation Jubilee, a raid on the French town of Dieppe. Sometime in the next few days an attack force consisting of mostly Canadian troops will be ferried across the Channel by the RN and the RCN. There will also be French, English, and American troops as well as a tank division, but the bulk of the personnel will be Canadian infantry from the Second Division. The air cover will be provided by the RAF and the RCAF. Do you have any questions so far?"

"What regiments will be taking participating in the raid?" Melissa spoke quickly.

"Do you have a specific unit in mind?" Crerar looked at her curiously.

"The South Saskatchewan Regiment. It's commanded by Lieutenant Colonel Cecil Merritt. Will they be involved?" Crerar consulted a sheaf of paper in front of him.

"Yes they will."

"Why did you bring us here?"

Anslow answered Hogan's question apologetically. "Any shipments of ammunition, rockets, or personnel passing through your area into France must be stopped."

"Won't that alert the Germans to the fact something's in the works? Besides we don't have a large area."

"You run the most successful sabotage operation in any of the occupied countries. Even our Maquis speaks with reverence of the great Pere Ours, Papa Bear." Hogan hesitated before responding to Duchept's heavily accented statement.

"Successful, yes, but not without limits." Hogan paused again. "Why did you have Squadron Leader Davidson come?"

Brayton looked at Crerar before speaking. "She is second in command, right?" Hogan nodded.

"And if something were to happen to you, which of your men," Anslow tilted his head to Melissa in apology, "would take over?"

"She would."

"We figured the same and thought she should know what's going on." Edson shrugged his shoulders.

"And there is _heavy_ Canadian involvement." Crerar pointed out the obvious.

"Although I did not expect her to be so young, but that is a fault time will cure, if given the chance." Walters shot Brayton a warning glare.

"Excuse me gentlemen, but if we are to mount an operation this size we'll need more supplies."

"What?" Anslow thought he had misunderstood her.

"For an operation this size you'll expect us to blow up bridges, railroads, trains, factories, radar and radio trucks, convoys, and roads. Correct?" Every head nodded. "We'll need supplies. If I may borrow a pen and a piece or two of paper I'll make a list of what we have and what we'll need." Walters handed her a pen and Crerar slid several pieces of paper across the table. She bent her head over the sheets while the conversation went on around her.

"Done squadron leader?" Melissa had set her pen down. She passed the list over to Walters. Duchept and Brayton had left; Hogan was chatting with Anslow at the far end of the table; Crerar and Edson were reading over Walters's shoulder.

"What do you need perfume, stockings, cigarettes, and chocolate bars for?" Edson found the items out of place.

"The kommandant's secretary will help us, but we give her perfume and stockings to be sure. One of the guards will give us information in return for chocolate and American cigarettes are a valuable trading item." 

Walters reached the end of the list and sat for a moment. "Colonel Hogan, can you think of anything you need?" Hogan listed off half a dozen items but they were all on the list. Walters walked to the door and gave the list to a soldier standing outside. "The soldier will round up all of the items you've listed there." Hogan came to stand beside Melissa.

"Thank you general, but there is one other thing. Our radio man should be contacted so we'll have help bringing the supplies back to camp."

"Good thought. Edson, will you see to that?" The officer nodded and hurried out of the room.

"General, may we take a walk around? We'll check back here in half an hour or so." All three men nodded. Hogan saluted and left. Melissa merely waved good bye. As the two walked back along the hallways Hogan had a question. "What did you ask for?"

"The usual things, but I also got bolts of fabric in the same colours as German uniforms, and a pair of boots."

"Why boots?" Hogan deliberated for a second at a junction of two hallways.

"Turn right. I don't have any boots to wear with a German uniform but my own. All of the pairs we have are much too big." Hogan nodded as the front lobby appeared before them.

"There's a little café just around the corner, it's not much but it's a place to kill some time. The drivers go there so it's open all night." Hogan held the door open for her. "Looks like Walters's manners are rubbing off. Or it could be your Canadian influence."

The two walked down the street and into the small café. The brightly-lit interior was filled with servicemen. All of the men were either British or American, except for a table of loud Canadians. "Melissa, what are you doing?" She had stopped dead in her tracks.

"Issa?" A young lieutenant pushed back his chair and stood. His eyes remained locked onto Melissa's. The young man stepped around a chair and Melissa threw herself into his open arms. Hogan stood uncomfortably for a minute until the two pulled apart.

"Does Carter have some competition?" The lieutenant looked at Hogan seeing him for the first time.

"Who's this? And who's Carter? And a better question what are you doing here?" Melissa grabbed his hand and pulled him outside. Hogan followed. Both men were confused. "What are we doing out here?"

"Yeah, what are we doing out here? And who's this?"

"Colonel Hogan, this is my brother Lieutenant Theodore Davidson, South Saskatchewan Regiment. Teddy, this is my commanding officer and friend Colonel Robert Hogan, United States Air Force." The two men shook hands.

"Pleased to meet you lieutenant."

"It's nice to meet you as well colonel, but call me Teddy." Hogan smiled at the similarities between the two. "Liss, what are you doing here of all places? And why is your CO a Yank? No offence." Hogan nodded.

"Do you know where we can go to talk?" Hogan lead the way back to the room they had started the evening in. Walters and Anslow where still sitting there, but with jackets off and whiskey in hand.

"Gentlemen, may we come in?" Hogan pushed the door open.

"Of course but I think you watch is wrong Hogan, you've only been gone five minutes." Walters smiled as he stood to acknowledge Melissa.

"Who is this?" Anslow saw Teddy enter.

"The squadron leader's brother." Walters waved them in and Hogan continued. "We needed somewhere the two could talk." Walters and Anslow nodded and resumed their conversation."

"Would someone explain to me what's going on?" Teddy was starting to get annoyed. "Last I heard you were in a POW camp somewhere in Germany. What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell us you'd escaped?" Melissa shot a glance at Hogan who was sitting beside her.

"I'm still a prisoner. Colonel Hogan and I are flying back in half an hour or so. Melissa was unsure of how much to reveal and chose her words carefully.

"Flying back? Why?"

"We operate an Underground unit and had to come here for a meeting." Hogan left out as much information as possible. Teddy pushed back his chair and began to pace.

"Is this safe?" Neither one had an answer. "Melissa, is it safe?"

"No." She swallowed hard. "If we're caught we could be shot without a trial." Teddy began to pace faster.

"Are you being forced to help?"

"No, I volunteered. No one's forcing me to do anything." Teddy reached out and knocked over his chair. His eyes flashed.

"Are you _crazy?_ You could be _killed!_ Damn it Melissa! I'm supposed to protect you and you're _not_ making it _easy!_" His voice rose harshly.

"Watch your mouth! You could be killed at any moment too! At least if I died it would be in _service_ of _my country!_ I'm just as old as you are Teddy! _I can protect myself!_ I _outrank_ you Teddy!"

"Killed doing what? _Drilling!_ And if I'm not serving my country _what am I doing_ over here in this uniform? And what does rank have to do with _anything?_ It didn't stop _you _from being _shot down!_" By this time they were both on their feet shouting at each other. When Melissa didn't respond he realised what he had said. "Did you get shot down _on purpose? Answer me Melissa!_"

"No, I didn't get shot down _at all_! I parachuted in when another bomber crashed!" They were staring across the table from each other. Walters and Anslow were watching the pair.

"Does Mum know?" Teddy dropped his voice a little.

"What do _you_ think? I'm supposed to write her from my _prisoner war camp _and tell her! Do you think she needs _more_ to worry about? Besides having _all_ of her _children_ in uniform! And how do you think the _censors_ would react? _Besides having all of us shot!_"

"Have you ever been hurt?"

"Nothing more serious than a sprained ankle. But that's it. I promise."

"Cross your heart?" She nodded and traced an X above her heart. "How many people are in the group?"

"Everyone in the camp knows and helps in any way they can but there are only four others, excluding Colonel Hogan and myself, that are really involved." Melissa sat down.

"And this Carter is one of them?" Teddy retrieved his chair. Melissa nodded and flushed. "So you too are close?" She nodded again.

"So what are you doing here?"

"Colonel Merritt had a meeting and I drove him." The two were back on friendly terms, the fight forgotten. Unfortunately Edson came in only moments later.

"Everything's ready and the car is waiting out front. It was nice meeting both of you. Best of luck." Edson hurried out of the room again.

Hogan shook hands all around. "Goodbye Lieutenant. General Walters, it was nice to meet you, and General Anslow it's always good to see you, even though it means more work for us. I'll be waiting in the hall Melissa." Hogan saluted crisply and walked to the door.

"Teddy, you can't tell anyone about seeing us here tonight. It's top secret."

"Wild horses won't drag it out of me. Cross my heart."

"If you do I'll tell Mum where the champagne, the wine glasses, you, and Christine disappeared to at our graduation party."

"If you tell Mum that I'll tell her, um, I'll think of something if I have to. Don't worry, I won't tell."

"And Teddy, take care of your self. Somehow manage to give Walter and Jem a hug from me."

"I will, even if they deck me for it. You take care of yourself too. See you later." Teddy pulled Melissa into a hug then he left. Melissa turned to the two generals.

"General Anslow, General Walters, it was a privilege to meet you both. Please give my best to General Crerar, Brigadier Duchept, Air Commodore Brayton, and Admiral Edson. Thank you for everything you've done."

"You're welcome." 

General Walters stood and walked over to her. "Goodbye Squadron Leader. Take care of yourself, I don't want to have to write your mother about you." He offered her his hand. When Melissa took it he pulled her in close. "I knew your dad. We fought together at Passchendaele. I know he'd be very proud of you." She pulled back slightly.

"Thank you. May I have permission to write you General?" He nodded, pleased.

"Now off with you, Colonel Hogan is waiting." She nodded and hurried off. She turned at the door.

She saluted. Then broke out into a grin and waved. "Bye."

As Hogan and Melissa were hurried to the waiting car, the two generals sat in a room that felt suddenly empty. "What did you think of her?"

"She's young, but sharp as a tack."

"With a firecracker temper."

Back at the airfield the plane was ready to leave as soon as Hogan and Melissa were safely on board. Actually there were two planes but the first one had all ready left with the supplies. The two had just enough time to get back before roll call.

All of the supplies had been on the first flight so there wasn't anyone there to meet the two officers. As they were walking through the woods Hogan began a conversation. "Do you know tonight is the first time I've seen you angry?" Melissa didn't respond. "Your brother was pretty angry too."

"And you wouldn't be? Put yourself in his place. Imagine the relief he felt when he heard I was safely in a POW camp. Not the nicest place to spend time, but safe out of the action. Tonight he found out I was working on a mission that could get me shot at any time. Not out of the action by a long shot. How would you have reacted?" Hogan fell silent. "Now put yourself in my place. I had to tell my twin brother this right after I learn that all three of my brothers will be participating in a raid. One that they obviously don't know about yet!" 

"You're right, I probably would have reacted the same way." Back at camp the others were standing in formation at roll call trying to distract Shultz.

"Shultz, do you want to play poker tonight? I won't even try to swindle you."

"Not now Newkirk, I'm trying to count. Zwei-"

"Neuf, dix, onze-"

"Fifteen, sixteen-"

"Now I have to start over!" Hogan slipped out of the barracks. He was still wearing his dress uniform pants.

"Did he notice we were gone?" Hogan whispered to Newkirk.

"Not yet guv'nor. Where's Melissa?"

"She has to change. Someone would notice if she came out in her dress uniform. Mine's less obvious." Hogan caught sight of Melissa and diverted Shultz's attention long enough for her to slip into place. "Hey Shultz, can't you hurry it up? I'm hungry!"

"Jolly joker. Now I have to start again." Shultz started counting for a third time.

"Shultz, _report!_"

"Colonel Klink, I'm not done counting yet!"

"What's taking you so long dumkopf?"

"I keep getting interrupted." He started to count again, from the beginning.

"Why are you starting over?"

"You interrupted me." 

Klink gave a little grunt and punched the air in his characteristic fashion. "Come tell me when you're done, and everyone had better be accounted for." He stalked to his office.

Shultz finished his count and the prisoners headed right for the tunnels. "Colonel, what do we need all this bloody stuff for?"

"Just give me a second to recover from my shock. Melissa, I didn't know we were getting this much stuff! What's in all these boxes?"

"Supplies. Shouldn't we tell them about the mission?" Melissa merely laughed.

"Yeah, the mission, right." Hogan was still looking around.

"We have to stop any and all shipments of anything moving through here. We also have to tie up as many troops as possible."

"And the rest is top secret right mon colonel?"

"Right LeBeau. It should only be for a few days. But it's still a big job." He looked away from the pile of crates.

"A big job! It's a huge job! Do I get to make explosives?" Carter looked like a puppy waiting for a bone.

"Could you show some of the others how to make explosives?" Carter nodded. "Kinch, you'll need some help with the radio. Newkirk, I think there's fabric in one of the boxes."

"Uniforms?"

"Right. We'll be working as separate groups on this one. We'll discuss that after we open the crates. I want to know what's inside. I don't even know what Melissa asked for!" Everyone started taking the tops off of crates.

"Radio parts here."

"A camera, and timers in this one."

"Cigarettes, and chocolate."

"I found the master list colonel." Cater had opened a box and found a page covered in Melissa's small handwriting. "Looks like she though of everything." Hogan took the list and read through it. Down to the smallest detail was everything they could possibly need. Fabric, boots, moulds for uniform insignia and medals, thread, needles, pins, false moustaches and beards, hair dye, fake glasses, wigs, civilian clothes and shoes, cameras, film, chemicals, dynamite, timers, detonators, chocolate bars, American cigarettes, stockings, perfume, grenades, ammunition, rifles, side-arms, another radio, various radio parts, walkie-talkies, new code-books, sleeping pills, advanced first aid kits, a small supply of penicillin; all were carefully packed into the crates laying in the centre of the room.

"Okay men, here's what we're up against. We're mounting a full-scale operation from now until we get the word from London. From this moment on we're working as separate units. Newkirk, you're in charge of uniforms for everyone involved. You can make them or steal them, whatever you have to do. Carter, you're in charge of making sure everyone has a weapon and that we have the explosives when we need them. Kinch, all of the radio traffic passes through you right to Melissa. I want you to install a phone tap on every phone in the camp and report everything from there as well. LeBeau, Klink's office will need to be cleaned much more often. Say every couple of hours? Just keep remembering things you forgot to do. Photograph or steal anything you can get your hands on and give it right to Melissa. I'll be heading everything up and Melissa will be helping me co-ordinate. Any questions?"

"Individual groups? That means we'll need people to help us right?"

"Right Kinch. Make out your lists and give them to Melissa. She'll okay the selections and round them up for a meeting in the chapel. Meanwhile, I'll go arrange the meeting." Hogan walked down the hallway a little then motioned for Melissa to join him. "Melissa, you'll be in charge of this. I'm going to have my hands full with Klink, Burkhalter, and Hochstetter. I want reports twice a day. You'll need to find people to help you too, but you're running the show. You'll need to arrange everything and deal with whatever problems come up. But don't hesitate to ask for help." Hogan hurried off. He didn't like putting so much responsibility on Melissa but he didn't have much of a choice. He couldn't do it all and Hochstetter all ready suspected him of sabotage. Besides, Melissa was already emotionally involved.

Twenty minutes later there were fifteen men sitting in the chapel. Hogan stood guard at the door. Melissa stood at the front, formally in command. LeBeau, Carter, Newkirk, and Kinch sat in the front row.

"Men, you've heard a little information can be a dangerous thing, and you all know that first hand. But what I'm about to tell you is _very_ dangerous. I don't know how to make myself any clearer. But one thing must be clear. Now is your _only_ time to back out. If you want to leave, or you feel you must leave, now is the time." She stopped and waited. No one moved. "You all know about the operation we have going here, but this mission goes _far_ beyond the limits of our operation. We all have to work as individuals, small groups, and most importantly, members of a team. All of our lives depend on it. When you leave here come to Barracks 2 and go into Colonel Hogan's quarters. There, one at a time, Newkirk will measure you for uniforms. After that you'll head into my quarters where Carter will assign you a weapon. Then you'll head down into the tunnels where you'll be broken into your smaller groups and briefed on what to expect. Leave normally but don't all rush to Barracks 2, we won't be able to deal with you all at once and the guards will become suspicious." She stepped down from the podium. "You may go now." The four men in the front row stood and walked out.

In the barracks they tried to get organised before the men started to trickle in. "What do I do?"

"Can you go down into the tunnels and get the men sorted out, LeBeau? You know who goes with which group?"

"Oui, but which list do I use? You just gave me two."

"Use the first one for now. We'll use the second one after the first briefing." LeBeau nodded and headed for the tunnel.

"And me?"

"Kinch, can you contact the Underground in this area and give them this message for me? And then come and tell me the replies?" Melissa handed him a slip of paper. Kinch also headed down into the system. "Newkirk, just take their measurements and their names please, I'll tell you what kind of uniforms they'll need after they've all been processed. Carter, ask each one what kind of weapon they're most proficient at and write that down please. Here's a list of the weapons we have." Carter nodded and headed for her quarters. "And could you leave the entrance open?"

"What would you like me to do?"

"Colonel Hogan, I'm sorry, you should have been the one telling the men what to do."

"No, you're in charge remember. And you were doing fine; I would have said something if you were giving orders that were horribly wrong. Actually you didn't really give orders, just asked them to do something for you. So, what would you like me to do?"

"Could you stand guard at the door and tell us when a guard is coming? And later could you find the people who haven't shown up for their fittings?"

"Okay, what are you going to be doing?"

"Helping Newkirk with the measuring, Carter with the gun assignment, LeBeau with sorting the men out, receiving the replies to the message I sent out, sending more messages out, waiting for Shultz to bring the mail to Klink's office, getting the men started on their jobs, giving briefings, unpacking crates, answering questions, and whatever else needs to be done." She laughed as the first of the men came in.

During the next few days every bridge in the area was destroyed, every railroad knocked out, and the Gestapo was everywhere. Melissa had managed to be almost everywhere at once, sometimes solving a problem before the others were aware of it. All of the groups had been given a well-deserved break and Hogan expected news of the attack to come at any time. On July seventh London called with a short message.

Jubilee postponed. Carry on.

"Only a _few_ days! A _few days!_ Who knows when it'll happen now? _Carry on!_" Hogan was just a little annoyed.

"Don't worry colonel. There isn't anything we can do now anyway, we just have to sit tight." Melissa's statement was punctuated by a series of yawns.

"Go and get some sleep. You're exhausted." There hadn't been much opportunity for sleep in the past few days so everyone was sleeping now that a break had been given.

Security was especially tight around the destroyed bridges and railways, but somehow they managed to damage most of them again. The operation had been scaled down considerably but Hochstetter still showed up every day and Burkhalter was staying in the guest quarters. Soon the operation had to be stopped because of the midnight roll calls. After a few weeks security began to loosen up again.

"There's going to be an ammunition train going through tomorrow night colonel. Are we going to stop it?" LeBeau had cleaned Klink's office that day.

"We still have the order to destroy anything passing through here. We have to." Hogan was still annoyed that London hadn't withdrawn the order. It was August seventeenth, more than a month since Jubilee had been called off.

"I'll go out colonel, you know Major Hochstetter is still watching you." Hogan nodded. The two officers were making plans when Kinch rushed up from the tunnel.

"Colonel Hogan, London just sent a message! No more missions, Jubilee is on."

"Did they say when?"

Kinch shook his head. "All they said is soon."

"Can you tell us what the bloody 'ell is going on?" Newkirk had a reason to be frustrated. Despite all of the time that had passed Hogan and Melissa hadn't told them of the raid. All of the information the men knew had come from the radio messages.

"Jubilee is the codename for a cross-channel raid of the French port of Dieppe." Hogan wasn't prepared for the men's reactions.

"_Vive le France!_" LeBeau yelled above the clamour of the others. In a moment they had settled down again, hoping for more information.

"There are some British troops, some French troops, and some American troops. But mostly it's Canadians." Melissa watched as the men perked up at the mention of their countrymen. Then Carter thought for a moment.

"Your brothers?" Melissa only nodded.

It was tough but somehow they all managed to make it through the next five days without speaking of the raid. LeBeau was wildly excited about part of his beloved France being in Allied hands again, even for a short period. Everyone was anxious for news.

Kinch sat alone in the radio room, just as he had so many times before. Sometimes it was nice to escape to the solitude but tonight all he wanted was news. When it finally came he wished it hadn't. Hogan had come down and was standing behind Kinch when, with shaking hands, the message was taken down.

"My God, what are we going to tell LeBeau?" Hogan was in shock.

"What are we going to tell Melissa?"

Author's Note—There was an actual raid on Dieppe on the on August 19, 1942. There were 5000 Canadians in the 6000 man landing force. The South Saskatchewan Regiment mentioned in the story took part in the raid and was actually commanded by Lieutenant Colonel Cecil Merritt. Lieutenant General Harry Crerar was a Canadian general throughout the war. He eventually commanded the First Canadian Army. Passchendaele was a battle during World War One that was fought by the Canadians in 1917. This story is dedicated to all of the men and women fought in service of their countries. 


	2. Changes

Somehow the two managed to make it through the next day without telling the others. Since hearing news of the raid no one had been sleeping well so when Melissa fell asleep right after supper Hogan didn't wake her. He knew it might be the only real sleep she would have for a while.

The next morning Hogan gathered them for a meeting. Melissa was standing behind Carter's chair and LeBeau was at the stove, cooking as usual.

"Well, we got news from London," Hogan began hesitantly. He avoided looking at LeBeau and Melissa. "The raid was a failure." LeBeau dropped his spoon with a clatter.

"I'm sorry Louis." Newkirk twisted in his seat.

"Casualties?" Melissa's voice was a harsh whisper. She clung to her last shred of hope.

"About 70%. Two thousand captured, half that many killed." Melissa's face was pale and she grabbed on to the back of Carter's chair. She held on as though it could stop her world from falling apart. Absolutely terrified she closed her eyes. Hogan expected her to burst into tears; or faint; or even react. He expected her to do something he knew how to deal with. "I wish I had better news, I'm sorry Melissa." She opened her eyes and smiled weakly, her lips trembling.

"Excuse me." She walked to her quarters. Everyone stood frozen for a second. Then Kinch went and silently opened to door. They could see her on her knees in front of her bunk, praying. He shut the door as silently as he had opened it. She remained secluded in there for the rest of the day. Every so often someone would get up, take a step in that direction and reverse course.

When Melissa came out at suppertime she was composed and her face showed no sign of tears. "Are you okay?"

"All I can do is hope they are."

The next day everyone was much more subdued than usual but still no one mentioned the raid.

Two days after learning the news of the failure Major Hochstetter drove through the gates. They were unable to learn anything from listening to the bug in Klink's office and when Hogan interrupted them Hochstetter didn't even get angry. No one knew why he had come until later that night.

The entire compound was ordered into the rec hall where a movie screen and projector had been set up.

"Could I have your attention please. Major Hochstetter has something to say!" Klink tried to get the prisoners to settle down and be quiet.

"_Quiet!_" Everyone stopped talking. "Could I have anyone with siblings in uniform stand." Half of the prisoners stood. Hochstetter continued asking people to sit down until only Melissa was standing. "I'm going to be showing you a film. She will remain standing."

The film started by giving a little information about the failed Dieppe raid, information they already knew from London. Then it began to show pictures of the beach, littered with corpses, the ground dark with blood. It continued to show pictures of the beach, littered with corpses, the ground stained dark with blood. It continued on showing abandoned tanks, lines of prisoners, shattered spectacles, and dented helmets. Occasionally a uniform was recognisable and all of them were Canadian. No one had thought that the Germans could be so cruel. But Melissa stood stiff. She didn't sway. She didn't reveal any emotion. Finally it ended and they were allowed to go. Melissa continued to show no emotion until they were out of sight. Then she ran to a nearby garbage can.

Bending over it she threw up. The other formed a screen, shielding her from view. When she was done she slumped to the ground, her back against the building and burst into tears. No one moved and they allowed her to sit there and cry. Shultz didn't even yell at them for being outside after lights out.

Still hiccuping, but eyes dry, she stood. They all wrapped her into one large hug. She sniffed. "Does anyone have a handkerchief?" Shultz handed her his. "Thank you."

"I'm so sorry. I wish I could have stopped it leibchen." He left again and the others headed back to the barracks, Melissa still protected in the centre of the group. She went to her room and Carter followed her. She grabbed the stuffed bear that Shultz had given her and lay down on her bunk. Carter sat down beside her and gently rubbed her back. He remembered his mother doing it for him when he was younger.

After a while he thought she was asleep and stood to go. "Don't leave me alone please." She grabbed for his hand. He nodded and sat back down. 

In an hour Hogan came in. "You go to sleep Andrew, I'll sit with her for a while." Carter went to go but found Melissa was still holding tight to his hand. He gently pulled free and Hogan took his place. All night someone sat with Melissa and every few hours they would trade off.

In the morning when they woke, Melissa's face had regained little of its colour. The others looked much more rested even thought they had got far less sleep. LeBeau tried making Melissa's favourite foods but she never took more than a bite.

After that first long night she didn't need anyone to say with her. Hogan would hear her walking slowly back and forth or softly saying her prayers but he never heard the soft even breathing that comes with sleep.

They saw very little of Shultz and even less of Klink but one day both Hogan and Melissa were summoned to Klink's office.

Klink looked horrible. His office was a mess and the bottle of schnapps was almost empty. "Please forgive me. I didn't know. Mein Gott, I didn't know!" Klink was obviously upset. His usually immaculate uniform was wrinkled and he sat in his shirtsleeves; the jacket was a heap on the floor. Hogan stood at the door stunned and unsure how Melissa would react. She crossed the room.

"Of course I forgive you."

"I swear I didn't know. I would have done something to stop it. I would have personally taken it to the Russian front." Klink buried his head in his hands. His shoulders started to shake. Melissa walked over and put her arm around his shoulders. Klink lifted his head. Melissa wrapped her arms around his neck as she had done so many months ago, only this time he put his arms around her too. They sat, a German and his prisoner, wrapped in an embrace. After a few moments they pulled apart. Klink straightened his shoulders. While he wasn't quite the same kommandant they were used to, it was a change from the distressed man of only moments ago.

"You may go now but Melissa, if you need anything, just ask." Melissa nodded weakly. Hogan was no longer concerned about Klink. The German seemed to have regained his strength.

The two were walking back and suddenly Hogan put his arm around the small girl beside him. Melissa had provided strength for Klink and Hogan remembered all of the times she had provided support for him. Who, he wondered, would give her strength?

Hogan went to his quarters as soon as they returned and he sat there in reflection all afternoon. At supper he really looked at Melissa, amazed at how much he had missed seeing before.

As she pushed her food around her plate, never eating any, her hands shook. Under her eyes were dark circles, standing out against her pale skin. Her cheeks were colourless and her usually quick smile and laugh were missing.

Hogan turned his focus from Melissa to the other men under his command. Voiced were subdued and actions slow. No one seemed to be heartily eating, only picking at their food.

The next day Klink appeared as usual at roll call but he had an unusual announcement to make. "The mail will be arriving early this month. Berlin is sending it tonight and it will be delivered tomorrow. Also every prisoner will receive an extra sheet of writing paper." There was a brief flurry of conversation. "Dismissed."

Hogan followed Klink into his office. "You arranged for the mail to be delivered early." It wasn't a question but a statement.

"I couldn't stand to watch it anymore. At least this way she'll know." Hogan nodded and left. Before Klink had not shown any emotion towards any of the prisoners. Perhaps in another place, under different circumstances Klink and Hogan could have been friends but Klink seemed to consider Melissa as a favourite niece, perhaps even as a daughter.

When Shultz delivered the mail to Barracks Two the next morning Melissa wasn't there. Instead she was walking alone outside. The others received their mail and as usual immediately opened the letters. News from home was usually given undivided attention but today the precious letters were hardly seen.

Suddenly there was a single knock at the door. When Kinch opened the door the sight brought everyone up short. Shultz held Melissa's limp body in his arms.

Kinch pushed Carter out of the way and Shultz set her down gently. For a moment everyone stared and then Hogan came in from his quarters. Even from across the room they could see him go pale. "What happened?"

"All three of her brothers." Carter looked near tears as he looked at the letter Shultz held out. All three of her brothers had been killed in the action at Dieppe. Jem, the youngest, had been shot while getting off the landing craft. Walter had made it inland but had been killed while attempting to cross a bridge. Teddy had almost made it back to England again but as he was retreating back to the beach he had stopped to help a group of wounded soldiers. The soldiers had made it but Teddy hadn't.

Klink was pacing back and forth across his office waiting to learn what had happened. He cared about the young girl and didn't want anything to happen to her. He couldn't wait any longer and picked up his hat to walk across the compound. Then he changed his mind and summoned Hogan to his office.

"Colonel Hogan, there are times when we are friends, and I sense this is not one of them. But please Hogan, tell me, what happened?" For the first time Hogan was seeing Klink as a real person, but for the first time Klink was the enemy.

"All three of her brothers killed at Dieppe. When she found out she fainted." Hogan's reply was crisp and cold. Klink nodded and Hogan turned on his heel and left. Klink was not a perceptive man yet he seemed to know that Hogan wasn't sure how to react. Klink himself didn't know how to react. Finally he did the only thing he could think of. He crossed the room and poured himself a glass of schnapps.

"To death." Then he voiced what he knew Melissa's response would have been. "To life."

It wasn't until the next morning that Melissa awoke. The lights in the barracks had burned all night but neither Shultz nor Klink had bothered them. It had been a long night filled with countless cups of coffee and little conversation.

Just after roll call she opened her eyes and weakly tried to sit up. Carter came and supported her shoulders, half embracing her. LeBeau had a cup of hot tea ready to hand to her. She drank a little a Newkirk's insistence and tried to give the cup back. But no one would take it until it was empty.

After a moment Hogan spoke his voice low. "I'm sorry about your brothers, I wish there was something I could have done."

Melissa opened her mouth to speak but she was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. "Colonel Hogan you are to report to the kommandant's office." Shultz had hardly opened the door when he left, closing it again.

Hogan nodded and left. Shultz was back only moments later to tell Melissa she was to report to Klink as well.

She stood, wavering slightly, and Carter wrapped a steadying arm around her waist. He walked with her to Klink's office and followed her in. The two stood uncertainly just inside the door. Klink could hardly bring himself to look at Melissa.

"Colonel Hogan, Sergeant Carter, you are dismissed." Hogan and Carter looked uncertainly at Melissa but she waved them out. Instead of returning back to the barracks both men waited just outside the closed door.

"Please have a seat." Klink was still avoiding her gaze. She sat in the chair set before his desk. "Is there anything I can get you?" She shook her head no. Klink shifted uncomfortably in his chair, unsure of what to say next. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay."

"Colonel Hogan, he told me about your brothers." Klink paused. "I'm sorry. I know what it's like to lose a loved one to war." He stopped again.

"The last war?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did he die in the last war?"

"Yes, I admired him greatly."

"The called it the war to end all wars, then twenty years later they start another one."

"I wish the war had never started."

"So do I, but not the fight." Klink looked at her confused. "The fight has to be fought. People like Hitler can't just be allowed to take whatever they want. Heil Hitler indeed." She cast a scornful glance at his photograph.

"He doesn't take whatever he wants." Klink weakly defended Hitler no real conviction behind his hollow words.

"He took Czechoslovakia and Poland. He took France and North Africa. He tried to take England, but he'll never get it. And he took lives, my brothers' and perhaps your brother's." Her temper flared.

"He can't take my brother, the last war already got him." They fell silent.

"Tell me about him, please."

"He was tall and handsome, with a full head of blond hair." Klink passed his hand over his bald head thoughtfully. "He was everything I wanted to be. A gifted musician and athlete, he got all of the prettiest girls. When the war broke out he signed up right away. He was four years older than I was. He wanted to serve his country. He was killed in action at Vimy Ridge in France, so near the end. I still have all the letters he wrote home."

"I'm sorry, both as myself and as a Canadian."

"Why would you be sorry as a Canadian?"

She took a deep breath. "Canadians were the ones who finally took Vimy Ridge. The British couldn't do it, and the French couldn't do it, but we did. They said we didn't know when a place couldn't be taken."

"You still don't. You tried to take Dieppe."

"Don't worry, we'll get it yet." It was with unerring faith and determination like hers that Dieppe was finally liberated in 1944. And by some of the same regiments that had been decimated in the raid. In the seconds before Klink spoke again the long path to victory, with all its struggles and hardships, was laid clear before her.

"We've both had loved ones taken, mine by your hands, and yours by mine. Yet still I feel no animosity towards you. You should be returning to your barracks." She went to the door. But she stopped on the threshold and crisply saluted. Colonel Klink saluted back.

"There are many men I admire, but only one I despise." She looked again at Hitler's photograph

Outside Hogan and Carter were still waiting. The three walked together back to the barracks. Melissa went immediately to her quarters and slumped down against the wall.

She had only been sitting there for a moment when there was a knock at the door. "Yes?"

Kinch stood in the doorway holding a tray of food and the four letters she had received at mail call the previous day. "We thought you'd like to be alone. But you need to start eating again. And these are your letters."

"Thank you." 

Kinch crossed the small room to place the tray and the letters on her bunk. Then he walked over to Melissa and wrapped his strong arms around her. He held her tight and he felt her shoulders begin to shake as she relaxed. Then she stiffened again. Kinch pulled away and left.

When LeBeau went to collect the tray later it was sitting outside the door on the floor. He debated going inside to check on her, but decided to give her some space. His soil had been stained by blood. But it was her blood that had been spilled.

Newkirk juggled the supper tray as he tried to open the door to the darkened room. Melissa was asleep on the bed inside and he debated waking her. Hogan had given his orders but Newkirk couldn't help but disobey them. He brought the tray back out with him.

"I couldn't guv'nor. She was sleeping so peacefully." Hogan nodded.

"I understand Newkirk."

She was still sleeping the next morning when Hogan went to wake her for roll call. He stood at the door for a moment watching. Then he silently crossed the room and pulled the blankets up tighter around her shoulders.

Outside the men were all lined up neatly for roll call. Melissa's place was the only empty one. As Klink marched across the compound his eyes immediately lighted on the empty place. "Shultz, report!"

"All present and accounted for, except Melissa, Colonel Klink." 

Hogan stepped forward from his spot. "She's asleep on her bunk kommandant. I decided not to wake her."

Klink nodded. Hogan was shocked. He had expected Klink would challenge him. Klink raised his voice to the camp. "For those of you who don't yet know Melissa's brothers were killed in the raid on Dieppe." He stopped and the camp was silent. Most of the men had already known but this confirmation was more final than the rumours that had been floating around the camp. "Men, you are dismissed."

The men filed back into the barracks. LeBeau had started a pot of oatmeal before roll call and it was bubbling happily on the stove. "Is it chow time?" Carter gestured carelessly to the stove.

"Oui." As he dished the steaming bowls out he couldn't stop thinking about the blood that had been spilled so far over his soil. "It's all my fault."

"No LeBeau, the oatmeal's not that bad." Newkirk feebly tried to make his tone light-hearted. Hogan glared at the English corporal. Newkirk gulped. "Sorry Louis, I didn't mean it."

"What's your fault?" Carter met LeBeau's gaze steadily.

"The whole thing. If I had just fought harder, or not turned down those missions the whole thing might never have happened."

"LeBeau, you can't blame yourself for any of this. It wasn't anyone's fault. Things like this happen in war."

LeBeau nodded sadly. "But it wasn't over your soil."

No one knew quite what to say. They had all felt that maybe if they had done something more maybe so many lives wouldn't have been lost. Even if they would have gone on one more mission they could have saved one more life.

Hogan cleared his throat. "I'll take Melissa's tray in this morning." He accepted the dish of oatmeal LeBeau held out. Hogan headed for her quarters.

By this time Melissa had awakened and was sitting on her bunk, reading a letter. When Hogan pushed open the door he could almost make himself believe that nothing had happened. "I brought you breakfast."

"Thank you." Hogan stood hesitantly at the door. "Are you going to come in?"

"I guess." He walked in and set the tray down on her footlocker. "How are you?"

"Better. It still doesn't feel quite real though." She paused. "I don't think it will feel real until I get home and they aren't there. I've gone from having three brothers to being an only child."

"I wish there was something more we could have done. We all do."

"Don't. I have been but I can't any more. It's too easy to fall into that trap and we won't be able to help anyone if we don't believe that we're doing the best we can to help everyone." Her eyes pleaded with him to agree.

"I don't know. Is it worth it? We could go back to our families and our old lives. London wouldn't argue."

"Nothing's going to be the same. We've all changed too much. And our old lives are gone. They vanished long ago. When we do get back even our friends and our families won't be the same. Nothing will ever be the same again."


End file.
